Father de Trik Turner

Can you remember
how you use to jab your fingers into my chest
and tell me how stupid you thought i was
and how i'd grow up to be worthless-
i was only 9 and i can recall every single time-
you raised your hand to me
no matter how hard i try to forget
i can't erase it from my memory
To this day you seem to think that
you never did anything wrong
and even though i've tried to look past your
ignorance
the hate was too strong
and you were to blind to see how much anger
was growing inside of me
and everything revolved around you
do what you say
do what you want
do as you do
as the years passed
i never knew what was to come
cause you were never there
but the day will come
when we'll cross paths
this time i'll be there to let you know that
all i ever wanted was was for you to believe in me
and everyday i prayed for, lived the day for
was a chance to throw it back in your face-

and before you die, open your eyes
and see, all the different ways that you neglected me
you may have gave me life but you never gave me hope
i don't ever want to take after my own father
God help me raise up outta this mess
stress and grey days and a gang full of tests
god help me, god help me
You put the fear in me and said
if i wasn't to be everything you expected then a son i'm not in your eye's
and would be instantly rejected-
your gifts of love were just fifths of pain
while i tried to maintain and refrain
you just laughed at me, you looked down on me, you threw down on me,
you made me feel worthless now you're dead to me, how does it feel to be,
what runs through you created me, one day i'll break free-
all i ever wanted was for you to believe in me
and everyday i prayed for, lived the day for
was a chance to throw it back in your face

why do i have to feel like i'm constantly worthless
every day i'm reminded of you, father